


The Simplest Chaos

by Benevolent_Atlas31



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author loves to chat in the Comments, Baker Eric Bittle, F/F, F/M, Jack Makes Mistakes, Jack being Jack, Jack is Precious, Jealous Jack, M/M, Major Nerd Jack Zimmermann, Multi, Oblivious Eric Bittle, Oblivious Jack, Possessive Jack, Send Help for Bitty's Poor Heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 14:10:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10641486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benevolent_Atlas31/pseuds/Benevolent_Atlas31
Summary: So Jack's not a master at this whole "understanding his feelings" thing . . . or "expressing his feelings" idea . . . or "feelings" in general, for that matter. Jack is, however, smart enough to know that his first reaction upon meeting Bittle's boyfriend shouldn't be wanting to cave the guy's face in.(He doesn't, of course, but that's a completely different story.)Or: Jack doesn't join the NHL after graduation, he doesn't kiss Bittle, and he definitely doesn't notice his feelings for him. This is the mess that follows.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, if you're just starting now, please disregard this. However, if you've already read the first chapter and are trying to figure out what's going on: I've made some last minute changes to the story and the tags, and have essentially changed the entire point of the story. 
> 
> Jack is still going to live in Providence, but beyond that, I don't know where I want to go with this yet, so the story is on a minor break until I can pull it together. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own none of these character's, nor their previous storylines. I don't know where I'm taking this thing, so let's just see how far we get.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack reads about the firebombing of Dresden and thinks, ok.

Jack reads about the firebombing of Dresden and thinks,  _ok_. 

He reads about it, first, in some dog-eared book about Modern War Machines. He reads the word ' _firebombing_ ', and all he can think of is this really sad girl he met at one of his dad's home games once who, when he asked why she was so sad, told him about how herdad was in one of those buildings that fell down in New York City. She told him about how, at the funeral, they never opened the casket because it wasn't filled with anything. She wasn't supposed to know that, but they had showed her pictures at her school of what the city had looked like afterward and how it was so filled with ash. She didn't have any pictures with her at the time, but later, he'd look back at the news footage and confirm that yes, the city had been filled with ash. 

And, yes, Sad Girl's father's casket was probably filled with ash, too. 

Twelve-year-old Jack doesn't care about the firebombing of Dresden.

He reads about it, again, just after his overdose. He's reading some psychology thesis on brain development and shock during wartime and in it, they talk about the victims of Dresden. What survivors might have accomplished after, how the children might've lent to society, etc. etc. But when he turns the page, there's an add-in page. It's printed in color, and it's of napalm victims. There's running through a street. There's a baby that is more colors than any baby should be able to be in a black-and-white photo. 

And he's **_angry_**. Jack is _angry_ and scared and shaking and shaking and shaking and shaking all the time and he doesn't stop shaking and he doesn't stop crying even when his eyes feel like they're about to  _bleed—_

Jack-Who-Survives-His-Overdose? He _hates_ the firebombing of Dresden. 

Jack reads about it one final time during a minor project that involved a dissection of _Slaughterhouse-Five_  that involved a portfolio and a paper.He likes Vonnegut, which is something he decides three sentences in. He likes how there's absolutely no commitment to the text. He likes how nothing is real, but it all feels perfectly possible at the same time. He likes Billy Pilgrim, and kind of wishes he could live his life with the same disconnect without an excess of medication. He writes all that in his paper and ends up with a smiley face on his paper and an A on his transcript. 

He keeps the book with him at almost all times of the day.

Most days, he doesn't open it. Most days, it just sits in his shoulder bag or in an oversized pocket or something of the like. His favorite pages are dog-eared, and his favorite lines are highlighted and underlined, so he doesn't have to go looking. Whenever someone questions him about it, ("I didn't know you were into science-fiction?" "I didn't know that you liked fiction at all!" "You _read_? I thought you played hockey?") he can usually get away with not explaining by remarking that the book "evokes such interesting imagery" and usually just delves into his "minor senior project". 

He even keeps it with him on graduation day. 

The little red tome bounces all around in his inner suit pocket as he crosses the stage. He makes sure to only hug the people who he wants to hug to make sure the book doesn't remind him of regrets anymore. 

The book is with him when he hugs Bittle. 

It chills him through all remaining layers when they separate. 

(According to Vonnegut, Bittle's face looks like the surface of the moon that day — all full of holes.)

Jack doesn't notice. 

It takes Jack until later that night, reading in his old bedroom in Montreal, to start the momentum of understanding that even though everything is planned for him, he has no idea what he's doing. 

He forgot something. 

There's something organic missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The entire fic will not be written in this format, but it will carry this sort of tone with it. This is the shortest introduction I could write. Please let me know in the comments what you think of it so I can figure out how to continue!


End file.
